Surviving Intimate Terrorism

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She was assured that Mr. Steinberg's parole requires him to clear any plans to leave the city, and that he had not mentioned anything about Rockland County. But it was clearly Ms. Nussbaum who was the main attraction. Dozens of women approached Ms. Nussbaum to hug her and thank her for being an inspiration.

Most whispered words of support and asked her to sign their book. She said the book was the fulfillment of a promise she made to Lisa to help other battered women and children. Gloria Steinem, who wrote the introduction for the book, has appeared with Ms. Nussbaum to promote it. The book cover is blood red with the title scrawled under a photograph of Ms. Nussbaum's battered, bruised face from , a symbol of domestic violence. View all New York Times newsletters. She took each book and wrote a warm message, inscribing her elegant signature on the flip side of the grotesque photograph.

Nussbaum looks much better now, although nine years of beatings left her body disfigured and covered with scars and burns. She has a hunched back, a pronounced limp and a left eye that constantly sheds tears, despite many corrective and cosmetic operations. When she took the lectern, she was greeted with extended applause from the or so people, mostly women. Asked if she thought prison had reformed Mr. Steinberg, she said she did not know or care, and drew loud applause when she added: "On a personal level, I don't care what he does, as long as he leaves me alone.

Steinberg declined yesterday to comment in detail for this article, saying the terms of his parole did not permit him to do so. He did say, however, that he was never charged with any offense against Ms.

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Nussbaum, and that many of her claims were contradicted by the trial record. Nussbaum recounted the day the police came to their apartment on West 10th Street to find their illegally adopted son, Mitchell, 17 months old, tethered with twine to his crib and Lisa, 6, pounded into a coma. Lisa died four days later and charges were filed against both Ms. Nussbaum and Mr. Prosecutors dropped charges against her after doctors said years of beatings had left her too paralyzed by fear and injury to save the girl.

Many people, however, have continued to hold her partly responsible for Lisa's death. In the gripping televised trial, she testified against Mr. Steinberg in her trademark gravelly voice. In that same voice, she recounted on Friday her days as an editor at Random House when she met a charming young lawyer named Joel in the Hamptons and quickly moved in with him.

She recounted in detail how the relationship turned abusive, from subtle critiques "You don't bend your knees enough when you walk" to severe punishments ice cold baths to "clear your head" and isolating her from her family and friends. She said she and Mr. Steinberg began freebasing cocaine after putting the children to bed. The beatings got worse, as did the dehumanizing rituals, including forcing her to crawl on the ground.

She said she was too emotionally numb to save Lisa. She repeatedly mentioned "Mitch," to whom she dedicated the book. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Feb 12, Carole rated it really liked it Shelves: non-fiction. I remember when this case was happening, the media frenzy and the "hang them" attitude. Our opinions changed when we saw the pictures of Hedda Nussbaum.

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If you were like me you wondered; how could she allow this to go on. We knew there was more to the story just by looking at Hedda's battered face. While I am not sure I believe all the info Ms. Nussbaum relates is accurate, I do believe she relates her tale to the best of her ability considering the mental condition she was in at the time of the I remember when this case was happening, the media frenzy and the "hang them" attitude. Nussbaum relates is accurate, I do believe she relates her tale to the best of her ability considering the mental condition she was in at the time of the events.

I have empathy for Ms. Nussbaum, however I have compassion for Lisa who was dependent on these two adults for her life and well-being. It is understood the book is about Hedda Nussbaum but I do feel sometimes Lisa is overshadowed in the tale. The mere fact that Hedda is still here, and Lisa is not, tells us who the ultimate victim is here All that said this is an engrossing compilation of Hedda's story of the descent of a self-reliant professional woman into the role of battered woman, victim and compliant although unintentional partner in the abuse and ultimate death of a little girl.

Nussbaum shows us that no person is immune from abuse.

Surviving Intimate Terrorism - Hedda Nussbaum - Google книги

I feel it needs another run through by an editor as I did see some spelling and punctuation errors. Oct 26, Briar Graovac rated it really liked it Shelves: female-authors , non-fiction , women , psychology , abuse. It's hard to comment on the story. I believe every word of what Hedda Nussbaum says about her life with Joel Steinberg and what happened to her daughter.

Her story lines up with the narrative of so many other people who get into relationships characterized by escalating abuse. It's real and it's horrifying, and her story is extreme. I hope she's been able to find some peace. I've said in previous reviews of memoirs that I sometimes find it's not entirely fair to critique the writing when the subj It's hard to comment on the story. I've said in previous reviews of memoirs that I sometimes find it's not entirely fair to critique the writing when the subject matter is so serious and important.

That said, I was surprised to see that this is a self-published book--so-called controversy or not, about which I call bullshit, by the way, it's hard to imagine a major publisher not being desperate for this. Unfortunately, this means it has the problem of poor editing and formatting that comes with a lot of self-published books to say nothing of the cover.

If you're reading it on the Kindle, there are some major formatting errors. While Ms. Nussbaum describes herself as a writer, and I believe she might have been a good one at one point, the book is flawed and could have used a thorough edit for overall structure, as it seems to shift from a more narrative past tense to present tense to a kind of diary structure and while it could have been made amazing with a good edit or two, as it is, it's a bit muddled. But still a worthwhile read.

Introduction

But obviously, major trigger warning. It's tough. Nov 26, Renee rated it liked it. This book is very disturbing as it was written by Lisa's "Fake" mother. Hedda Nussbaum never legally adopted Lisa or Mitchell. Hedda allowed herself to be manipulated by a psychotic half wit so called lawyer who was clearly out of control, abusive, on drugs freebasing cocaine in front of the children. Joe killed Lisa but Hedda should have been convicted as well. She claims she was a victim of circumstance.

I say bollocks to that. Hedda got what she deserved from Joe because she allowed herself t This book is very disturbing as it was written by Lisa's "Fake" mother.

Surviving Intimate Terrorism

Hedda got what she deserved from Joe because she allowed herself to be controlled by this monster. But there is no excuse for not protecting the children. Claiming to be on drugs is not a valid reason to not rescue your children from a drug addict abuser who is clearly out of control. Totally unacceptable. Hedda had a good job as an editor and she was a very smart lady before she hooked up with that loser.

She claims she was blinded by love.


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Excuse me while I go throw up. Not a helpless 6 year old girl who was starved, neglected, battered and finally murdered. Why do you get to walk away free and clear? F"ck the system because it is completly flawed. And you took advantage of that to save your own sorry ass. You could have saved Lisa's life by dialing but you were to selfish to care. BUT, there are so many things that Hedda blames this on that it is unbelievable. I truly think she had more control over the situation. Writing could have used a prof reader also. Jan 09, Leslie rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Abuse victims.

The best description of how abuse begins and why a woman may stay.



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