The Philosophers Joke

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Today, we have five philosophy jokes that will require some explanation. By the time you've read all of them, you'll have had both a few laughs and a better understanding of philosophy and why it's important. Thales walks into a coffee shop and orders a cup. He takes a sip and immediately spits it out in disgust, he looks up at the barista and shouts, "What is this, water? Thales is commonly referred to as "The First Philosopher" because he is the earliest philosopher whose name we know.

He was much more than a philosopher though; he also dabbled in business, engineering, astronomy, meteorology, and public policy. His best-known idea is his metaphysics; he argued that water was the basis of all other substances. No matter how unaquatic something might seem to be think of dry dust or fire Thales argued that as it comes from water, and it remains water at the most fundamental level despite its changing traits.

Aristotle tells us this marked the first time any thinker tried to explain the world and how it worked in terms of natural laws.

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To this day, all science and philosophy that seeks to discover what reality is at its most fundamental level carrying on Thales' work, though they have long since rejected his proposal. Descartes takes his date, Jeanne, to a restaurant for her birthday. The sommelier hands them the wine list, and Jeanne asks to order the most expensive Burgundy on the list. Descartes was a French philosopher who tried to find the basis to his knowledge, solve the mind-body problem, and invented modern philosophy along the way.

He also created that coordinate system you used so much in high school geometry. In this book, he tries to systemically doubt everything he thinks he knows until he finds the one thing he cannot doubt. As it turns out, that one thing is his own existence. Even if he doubts the accuracy of everything he sees, thinks, and believes in, he still has to exist to doubt it. He then used pretty weak arguments to get back to being able to believe in everything again, but that's another story. Descartes was carrying on a long line of philosophy that asked not only what exists but also how we could know.

While he settled on the idea that we can trust our senses, others argue that we can't or that there isn't a real world for our senses to even detect. Jeremy Bentham was the founder of utilitarianism , a philosophy and ethical theory that argues that the one good is happiness and the right thing to do is to maximize it.

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He was also quite the eccentric , a social reformer, and the mentor of a few brilliant English thinkers. Utilitarianism treats everybody's happiness as equal. Therefore, the in-joke Bentham knows he can create more happiness by buying coffee for everybody that comes in after him rather than spending the money on himself. The idea that we should be charitable is still a big part of utilitarianism and a core part of philosopher Peter Singer's career. Other important ethical theories of Bentham's include deontology , which is based on following universal laws, and virtue ethics , which argues for building a strong character.

Nobody showed up. What happened to the existentialist who had a flat tire in the middle of a very busy street? He just sat in his car holding his head and repeating.

Jerome, Jerome K - The Philosopher's Joke - PDF Free Download

Saul Gorn "S. Ambrose Bierce A great truth is a truth whose opposite is also a great truth. Christopher Morley Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences. How philosophers do it Philosophers do it deeper. Philosophers do it a posteriori. Philosophers do it consistently.

Philosophers do it conceptually. Philosophers do it for pure reasons. Philosophers do it with their minds. Philosophers think about doing it. Philosophers wonder why they did it. How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

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One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the light bulb exists. How many Hegelians does it take to change a light bulb? Two, of course. One stands at one end of the room and argues that it isn't dark; the other stands at the other end and says that true light is impossible.

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This dialectic creates a synthesis which does the job. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? One to change it, and one not to change it. One to change it, one not to change it, and one both to change it and not to change it. How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?


One to change the lightbulb and one to observe how the lightbulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of Cosmic Nothingness. How many Kuhnian constructionist philosophers of science does it take to change a light bulb? You're still thinking in terms of 'incremental change'--what we really need is paradigm shift How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

Every light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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    Otherwise, theme and subject-wise is as actual as ever: but I am not so sure I would want to go back to 20 years of age with my present mind-set. I mean it's always nice to go back to youth but not necessarily with a corrupted history, in terms of knowledge and experience. If travelling on a city bus for round about 30 minutes and not finding anything catching to look out on the window, this can light and lift up one's state of being, of course, under the pressumption it hasn't hit 40 years yet..

    Feb 01, Alexandra Popescu rated it it was amazing. A really intriguing short story about the lives of three couples in their forties, who are given the chance to go back through time, at the age of 20, with the knowledge of the future. What would a young person do, knowing that following his instinct would most probably lead to his wretchedness? How does one differentiate between reality and dream?

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    How frightened is one, knowingly deciding to take the same steps in life the second time as he did the first time? And last, but not least, if you we A really intriguing short story about the lives of three couples in their forties, who are given the chance to go back through time, at the age of 20, with the knowledge of the future.

    And last, but not least, if you were, at 40, given a second chance to go back in time halfway through your life, would you live another way? What would you do differently? It is the first piece of Jerome K. Jerome I've read so far, but definitely not the last.

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    Fun Curious and lively. An interestingly clever story which illustrates the inevitability of history repeating itself. Or, the inescapabaility, overpowering, nature of one's fate. Charming too, as well as cynical and bitterly sad, I admit. Good read book This is a short and old book. One can pass the time. It feels me beyond my perception. It is free to read on kindle. Sep 10, Sudha Hariharan rated it liked it. Years after I read Three men in a boat by the same author, I found this book as a free book on mac store and I just had to pick it up.

    A nice short read. We often find ourselves contemplating and claiming to have done things differently in the past if only we knew what the future entails. The story helps you introspect such thought. A short read with a nice moral. This short story has led me to another interesting book - Twice-told tales by Hawthorne, Nathaniel which contains a comparable story t Years after I read Three men in a boat by the same author, I found this book as a free book on mac store and I just had to pick it up. This short story has led me to another interesting book - Twice-told tales by Hawthorne, Nathaniel which contains a comparable story titled Dr.

    I hope to read this book soon. View 1 comment. Oct 17, Piyush rated it really liked it.

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    Dec 06, Iain Hamill rated it it was ok Shelves: philosophy-and-psychology. Interesting thought experiment. As beneficial as occasional introspection can be, foreknowledge of future character is perhaps best left to the Almighty. Short and sweet, with a moral. A philosopher's joke or a joke on philosophers? Three Men in a Boat it ain't, but it is different. Sometimes it is interesting to think what if I had known Sep 05, Sanjeev rated it liked it. Tomas Nemec rated it it was amazing Mar 11, Xi rated it really liked it Jan 18, Neha Bhatt rated it it was amazing May 20, Yuvraj rated it did not like it Jun 02, Rohan Barman rated it liked it Jun 29, Anasuya rated it really liked it Dec 31, Shrey Goyal rated it really liked it Dec 10, Miss rated it liked it Aug 31, Tutogi Nuuauuala rated it really liked it Jul 09, Milla rated it it was amazing Sep 10, Stilyan rated it liked it Dec 20, Anirudh Agrawal rated it really liked it Jul 07, Christy rated it really liked it Jul 28, Rohit Tiwary rated it it was ok Mar 22, Riccardo rated it really liked it Aug 02, Pierpa rated it it was ok May 12, Alex rated it liked it May 30, Warlock rated it liked it Dec 12, There are no discussion topics on this book yet.

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