Prague, Czech Republic Moved in Moscow, Russia Moved in Ramat Gan Moved in Tel Aviv, Israel Moved on July 1, London, United Kingdom Moved in Paris, France Moved in New York, New York Moved in Geneva, Switzerland Moved in About Sam. He is an iconoclastic and highly controversial columnist. Born in in Qiryat-Yam, Israel. Served in the Israeli Defence Force in training and education units. Certified in Psychological Counselling Techniques by Brainbench. Certified Financial Analyst by Brainbench.
Full proficiency in Hebrew and in English. Business Experience to Founder and co-owner of a chain of computerised information kiosks in Tel-Aviv, Israel. The firm financed international multi-lateral countertrade and leasing transactions. Activities included large-scale portfolio management, underwriting, forex trading and general financial advisory services. Consultant to foreign RND ventures and to Governments on macro-economic matters.
Freelance journalist in various media in the United States.
Tried and incarcerated for 11 months for his role in an attempted takeover of Israel's Agriculture Bank involving securities fraud. Well, that's not how it was for me. My mother's expectations of me were much higher. Mistakes were mistakes and crying was not the way to get her approval. That required being perfect, so that's exactly what I became.
Not the little awkward toddler that I was, but my mother's model child. Not the brave and curious little person that I really was, but the fearful personification of my mother's ideal. What you were experiencing through your little mishaps and mistakes were small doses of shame. What you were learning from your quick recoveries was shame repair. At first your mother did most of the repairing.
Through repetition, you gradually learned how to do it by yourself. Shame repair brain circuitry was being laid down that would carry you for the rest of your life. I had no such luck. I simply did not acquire that skill when nature had intended my brain to acquire it. No one enjoys shame. But most people can deal with it. Not me. I fear it the way most people fear snakes. How many others like me are there? More than you might think, and our numbers are increasing. Take twenty people off the street and you will find one whose mind ticks so much like mine that you could consider us clones.
Impossible, you say. It is simply not possible for that many people — highly accomplished, respected, and visible people — to be out there replacing reality with illusions, each in the same way and for reasons they know not. It is simply not possible for so many shame-phobic robots of havoc and chaos, as I describe myself, to function daily midst other educated, intelligent, and experienced individuals, and pass for normal. It is simply not possible for such an aberration of human cognition and behaviour to infiltrate and infect the population in such numbers, virtually undetected by the radar of mental health professionals.
It is simply not possible for so much visible positive to contain so much concealed negative. It is simply not possible. But it is. That is the enlightenment of "Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin. Sam is himself one such clone. What distinguishes him is his uncharacteristic courage to confront, and his uncanny understanding of, that which makes us tick, himself included. Not only does Sam dare ask and then answer the question we clones avoid like the plague, he does so with relentless, laser-like precision.
- Introduction to Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited.
- Sam Vaknin.
- YOUNG TIGRESS?
Read his book. Take your seat at the double-headed microscope and let Sam guide you through the dissection. Like a brain surgeon operating on himself, Sam explores and exposes the alien among us, hoping beyond hope for a resectable tumour but finding instead each and every cell teeming with the same resistant virus.
The operation is long and tedious, and at times frightening and hard to believe. Read on. The parts exposed are as they are, despite what may seem hyperbolic or farfetched. Their validity might not hit home until later, when coupled with memories of past events and experiences.
- Honest Doubt: Essays on Atheism in a Believing Society.
- A Darkling Sea: A Novel.
I am, as I said, my own worst nightmare. True, the world is replete with my contributions, and I am lots of fun to be around. And true, most contributions like mine are not the result of troubled souls. But many more than you might want to believe are. And if by chance you get caught in my web, I can make your life a living hell. But remember this. I am in that web too. The difference between you and me is that you can get out. I met Sam on an Internet list about 5 years ago. I'd been studying personality disorders and narcissism at the time, looking at it from Jungian, spiritual, and literary points of view as well as psychological, and I was just not too terribly impressed with the psychological state of the art on those topics.
Sam invited me to visit his site, and without knowing him from Adam I just wrongly assumed that he was one more run-of-the-mill shrink writing standard stuff about narcissism. I replied something like, "No, that won't be necessary, I am the only person in the whole world who truly understands narcissism.
See a Problem?
I went ahead and visited his site anyway, and was most impressed. I emailed him back then, and told him of my mistake, and said I thought his work was way ahead of the standard psychological writings on the subject. You just can't understand something as complex and subtle as narcissism without integrating your feelings, your soul and your heart with it, and the supposedly "objective" stuff written by professionals was just missing key dimensions that made it flat and cold "dead information" instead of "living knowledge.
Sam's writing on the subject pulsated with heat, it ran red with blood, it crackled with flames of passion, it cried out in agony. He described it's small insignificant currents, he knew what it does when the weather changes, he knew exactly what happens to little frogs, snakes and crickets whenever they fall into the stream. Warning and Disclaimer.
The contents of this website are not meant to substitute for professional help and counseling.
The readers are discouraged from using it for diagnostic or therapeutic ends. The diagnosis and treatment of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder can only be done by professional specifically trained and qualified to do so — which the author is not. This material is copyrighted. Free, unrestricted use is allowed on a non commercial basis. The author's name and a link to this Website must be incorporated in any reproduction of the material for any use and by any means.
Go Back to Home Page! Excerpts from Archives of the Narcissism List. What is a personality disorder? When the personality is rigid to the point of being unable to change in reaction to changing circumstances - we say that it is disordered. Such a person takes behavioral, emotional, and cognitive cues exclusively from others. His inner world is, so to speak, vacated. His True Self is dilapidated and dysfunctional.
Instead he has a tyrannical and delusional False Self. Such a person is incapable of loving and of living.
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited PDF ( Pages)
He cannot love others because he cannot love himself. He loves his reflection, his surrogate self. And he is incapable of living because life is a struggle towards, a striving, a drive at something. In other words: life is change. He who cannot change cannot live.
The narcissist is an actor in a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind the scenes. The scenes take center stage, instead. The Narcissist does not cater at all to his own needs. Contrary to his reputation, the Narcissist does not "love" himself in any true sense of the word. He feeds off other people, who hurl back at him an image that he projects to them.
This is their sole function in his world: to reflect, to admire, to applaud, to detest - in a word, to assure him that he exists. Otherwise, the narcissist feels, they have no right to tax his time, energy, or emotions. The posting of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Re-Visited on the Web has elicited a flood of excited, sad and heart rending responses, mostly from victims of Narcissists but also from people suffering from the NPD. This is a true picture of the resulting correspondence with them. This book is not intended to please or to entertain.
NPD is a pernicious, vile and tortuous disease, which affects not only the Narcissist. It infects and forever changes people who are in daily contact with the Narcissist. In other words: it is contagious. It is my contention that Narcissism is the mental epidemic of the twentieth century, a plague to be fought by all means. This tome is my contribution to minimizing the damages of this disorder. Get A Copy. Paperback , 9th revised impression , pages. More Details Original Title. Other Editions 3. Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.
To ask other readers questions about Malignant Self-Love , please sign up. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Aug 20, Linda rated it it was amazing. Sam did a magnificent job writing Malignant Self Love. To be honest the pages will mean very little to you: if you have never encountered such a personality. When you have been close to a NPD and have been touched by it.
I recommend this book to everyone. There are more than one type of NPD and they can be quite successful. I do recommend this book to all especially late teens it can only do them good to learn of constructive b Sam did a magnificent job writing Malignant Self Love. I do recommend this book to all especially late teens it can only do them good to learn of constructive behavior before they take on careers, family's, and a significant other. Once your finished reading you have to fill in the holes with healthy responses, caring touches, non self motivated motives, guiding protective actions.
I am certain that the Narcissist will read it and still try to find ways to be entitled to their goals. For the people around them there is a way out. Distance, sad to say in many cases it is the only way to break the cycle. Sam has done a lot of work, putting to pen, the difficult. It will always sit on my shelf. Nov 29, Pearlyn Lim rated it liked it Shelves: pearlyn-s-reads. The best and worst aspect of this book is that it is written by someone suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. As a result, while it is honest and illuminating, the writing is unnecessarily bombastic, repetitive with pages devoted to Sam's self-proclaimed achievements.
This book itself, its convoluted organization, its pages dedicated to the author's resume, its choice of jargon and big words sheds more light into what NPD is all about than the content of the writing. An intere The best and worst aspect of this book is that it is written by someone suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. An interesting experience altogether. This book allows me to enter the world of an NPD sufferer in more ways than one, Aug 03, Heather Fowler rated it it was amazing.
This text, as a book, is not nearly as compelling in its structure as it is in its contents. That said, as a psychological primer, a study of certain personality types, it has a lot to add and some very interesting views. Personally, I find the YouTube videos by Vaknin to be fascinating and would recommend watching them if this interests you. The videos add a layer of interpretive sensitivity that the book sometimes misses representing.
If women are attracted to narcissists and Vaknin offers hel This text, as a book, is not nearly as compelling in its structure as it is in its contents. If women are attracted to narcissists and Vaknin offers help with understanding their post-idealization experience, their devaluations, despite that it's likely Vaknin is solely after attaining narcissistic supply with either this book or those videos, I say, good for him. Explaining how psychosis or narcissism works IS community service to those average, everyday folks who haven't the slightest idea why or how people could love them and then instantly discard them.
This is post-betrayal reading for anyone who needs it--and quite valid for that endeavor. I'm going to give this 4 stars not because the book is crafted like a work of literature--but because, right on, Sam Vaknin! Help people for your NS! If narcissists must pander for praise one way or the other, at least it is amply deserved when they reveal themselves so clearly and aid in interpretive arts for other human beings navigating their lives.
There are far worse things a narcissist could do with his time.
EXCERPTS ONLY Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited
In fact, I think I'll give this book five stars for that reason. Five stars, Sam. Good work revealing motivations for cruelty--and how they have more to do with the narcissist than the victim. Your work, on the whole, has aided my understanding. And I'm feeling generous today. Aug 03, Vanessa rated it liked it. View 1 comment. Jan 27, Margaret rated it it was amazing.
The unique aspect about this book is that it is written by someone with Narcissism. There are quite a few books about Narcissism but this one really helps you understand this disorder inside and out, probably because it is written by someone who experiences it personally. If you are involved with people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, this is a must-read to be able to get into their mind and know how to think.
Especially if you do not have NPD, this is a must read because you will get hu The unique aspect about this book is that it is written by someone with Narcissism. Especially if you do not have NPD, this is a must read because you will get hurt since these folks easily manipulate you.
If you are highly trusting, then please DO read this book sa you are their number 1 target. THe book is written in a very unconventional way. It is not that easy to get through But it is very very good and I have referred to it as a resource numerous times over the years. Jul 31, Kerry rated it it was amazing Shelves: non-fiction. Wow, did this book hit a nerve! This is the climate of my youth, although I didn't recognize it until much later.
Now I'm finding that recovering from a childhood with the parent s described in this book is not as easy as one might think. I keep discovering sides of myself that I never really knew how to explain. Now it all makes sense! It doesn't solve the problem, but it makes sense! View 2 comments. Jan 02, Andrew rated it it was ok. While this lengthy odd pages and expensive this paperback retailed for around fifty bucks, and that was ten years ago tome contains some interesting and useful info, it is buried in a book that is a pretty tough slog due to issues of format and editing, rather than content.
Vaknin writes a blog, from which much of this is compiled I first heard about this book, in fact, on the internet, where Vaknin has a disturbingly vociferous cult. It's not actually a coherently written book, but While this lengthy odd pages and expensive this paperback retailed for around fifty bucks, and that was ten years ago tome contains some interesting and useful info, it is buried in a book that is a pretty tough slog due to issues of format and editing, rather than content.
It's not actually a coherently written book, but a slapped-together compilation of internet pieces, and as a result it is often mind-numbingly repetitive and badly in need of an editor. Its author claims to be a narcissist himself and given his propensity to wallow in purple prose kind of the equivalent of being in love with the sound of your own voice , I'm willing to believe it. At the bottom of it, much of this book is an ongoing series of sometimes seemingly random, sometimes self-contradictory, sometimes pretentious thoughts, theories and musings on narcissism.
In spite of these considerable flaws, it does contain some interesting and thought-provoking content. However, for anyone with an interest in the subject of narcissism, I would definitely recommend the far more coherent Why Is It Always About You? Jul 07, Farah rated it really liked it. When dealing with a narcissist never think in a human way because he is not Every one has a normal range of self confident but when it is too high it will be a malignant narcissist.
Relationship with a narcissist is toxic, and you should run away from him. A narcissist has a revenge in his heart and hates every body even him self This is why he acts so weird, and when he wants something he will be too sweet until take it then will get rid of you if he feel you are not as a supply for him He can't fin When dealing with a narcissist never think in a human way because he is not Every one has a normal range of self confident but when it is too high it will be a malignant narcissist.